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See, that’s what the app is perfect for.

Sounds perfect Wahhhh, I don’t wanna
wiishopchanelboots
hownottolearnalanguage

absolxguardian

I'm kind of glad to hear that everyone does this. Because it means it isn't colonizer bullshit, it's what everyone does. It's just people discovering new things. Everyone goes:

"Oh hey these people have their own style of [language A's word for thing. Say, what do you call it?"

"Oh it's [language B's word for thing]."

"Got it, it's [language B's word for thing] variety [language A's word for thing]"

house-of-crows

added to which it is LITERALLY JUST LINGUISTIC SHORTHAND for 

[item] the way [culture] makes it. 

If you don’t want sliced bread, you want bread the way Eastern Indians make it you ask for Roti, not bread. Because Roti is bread THE WAY [EASTERN] INDIANS MAKE IT. Like fuck, it’s not that complicated a concept. 

OF COURSE it’s not colonizer bullshit! It’s just linguistic shorthand!

wiishopchanelboots
gatorbeast

these are all the same sort of animal. do you understand.

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these are all small skittish creatures that love to bite and are found in drawers of garages and classrooms. they’re all related and in the same small biter family. weird little kids who play with them while they’re distracted and have empathy for them can tame them and become these beasts companions

melodramaticwolf

Thank the Lord someone understands

wiishopchanelboots
greek-orthodox-priest

went to miami to recover father sotirios. and made some new friends.

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these animals... they are wise. I recruited them to avenge my dear brother. I was then escorted out of the sea world.

a-book-of-creatures

Better than the 1596 Marseille dolphin exorcism I suppose.

maxkowski

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a-book-of-creatures

In 1596 dolphins were infesting the port of Marseille. Back in those days, y’see, dolphins didn’t have the cuddly image they enjoy today. They were pests and were causing damage.

So the cardinal of Avignon sent the bishop of Cavaillon to do something about them. In front of a huge crowd, the bishop sprinkled some holy water into the waters of the port and told the dolphins to begone. Whereupon the dolphins indeed turned tail in terror and fled, and were never seen again.

Still not as dramatic as Saint Bernard excommunicating the flies though.

melononthefloor

What happened to the flies?

a-book-of-creatures

Saint Bernard of Clairvaux built a monastery in 1124, but it was plagued by flies. So the good saint promptly excommunicated them. By the next day the flied had died in such quantities that they had to be shoveled out.

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Still not as nutty as the Basel rooster trial though.

fatefulfindings

*everyone in unison* um what rooster trial?

a-book-of-creatures

In 1474, a rooster in Basel did the heinous and unspeakable act of laying an egg. As everyone knows, an egg laid by a rooster will hatch into a basilisk (or cockatrice).

So to avoid the creation of a cockatrice (or basilisk), the rooster was tried, found guilty, and burned at the stake along with its egg. A huge crowd was present.

The “rooster” in this case was likely a hen that had developed male characteristics (it happens).

Still not as properly legal as the Savigny pig trial though.

bonnettbee

Ok, clearly you want an excuse to talk about the pig thing, and I now DESPERATELY want to hear about the pig thing, so PLEASE tell us about the Pig Thing.

a-book-of-creatures

In 1457 a sow killed Jehan Martin, a five-year-old boy in Savigny. For that crime she was put on trial and judged guilty, and sentenced to be hanged from a tree.

Her piglets, however, were judged to have been innocent of the murder, and so were returned to the owner, with the caveat that he had to surrender them to the law if they were later found to have eaten any of the boy.

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Not to be confused with a whole bunch of other, similar porcine trials.

I won’t mention the 1454 excommunication of eels in Lake Geneva then.

greek-orthodox-priest

the seaquarium of miami banned me from visiting for life if anyone even cares.